Halloween is closing in and I am fretting over going out for the first time in ten years on that night.
It has been a night of mourning and contemplation, but there is a band playing that makes me really happy to hear. The people in the band are wonderful folks and it shows in their music - I almost always walk away from their shows happier than when I arrived. So its a pretty safe bet that it will be a good night. That and its kind of a big night for them with a new line up and opening for a touring band of note.
Its not that I have anything against the day or the festivities of Halloween - its more about it being the day that my father died on in 1997. Its was a really rough experience to watch him fight and die from a bad case of cancer.
Seeing the man I had always looked up to and admired taken apart by an illness was something that was really hard to make sense of and process, and it made a day of mourning a good thing to do. Its been had to be optimistic and do more than just exist since then, that and a convoluted past relationship framed by illness /death issues have me living as / being less than who I am.
The thing I do know is that there is no guarantee of more than the day that is at hand to be alive. I want to wake back up too and be more aware of what is important and stop being so busy that I am not really living.
So bring on the songs Sharks it going to be a good night for a show and a series of moments to savor!
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